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ferritins · 26 days ago
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PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ | B. WAYNE
SUMMARY: You’re Bruce Wayne’s long suffering personal assistant. On a time crunch, you (re)teach him how to apply cologne.
NOTES: belligerent tension, Bruce is characterised more on the socialite side than Batman, though Batman is alluded to. Suggestive ending.
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For all the years that you’ve been his PA, you’ve never quite understood the borderline hysteria surrounding Bruce Wayne.
The perils of having a pretty face and old money, you suppose; sex appeal sells, and the prestige of an established name and old money that lend him an air of modern-day Gilded Age aristocrat surely can’t hurt.
Not that it's of particular interest or importance to you; you're a member of the hoi polloi through and through.
The closest to celebrity you've ever come is being mistaken as Bruce’s latest paramour in some of your more extravagant efforts trying to prevent his sartorial and interpersonal disasters before they happen.
Speaking of which; as he goes to apply his cologne, you drop the lint roller you're passing over his broad shoulders and the elegant lines of his Kiton suit and grab his wrist before he can douse himself in the strong scent, aghast.
“You’re not putting cologne on like that, surely?”
Bruce quirks a dark eyebrow. "Unless you're expecting me to break the bottle over my head, sweetheart, there's not really another way to apply cologne."
“I am choosing to ignore that nickname, because unlike you, I am a consummate professional.” You inform Bruce, tone somewhere between haughty and resigned. “I know you know how to wear cologne. Mr. Pennyworth is the gentleman’s gentleman, there’s no way he didn’t teach you.”
“Oh, Alfred gets Mr. Pennyworth, but I get Bruce?”
“Mr. Pennyworth doesn’t tear loaned formal wear, disappear at inoppurtune moments, or make a tit of himself at networking events.” You huff. “You, however…”
Bruce chuckles, all baritenor delight at your insouciance towards him.
You roll your eyes.
Spray some on your wrists and dab them together, then come here and loosen your tie."
“Not that I'm not flattered, but I really don’t think we've got the time." He teases, daubing the cologne on his wrists, long fingers of his unoccupied hand working the Windsor knot of his tie loose.
Immune to his affected charm through long exposure, you sigh.
“Keep it in your trousers, Bruce. Tonight, you're learning how to wear cologne properly, again. Do you mind if I unbutton your collar?"
Bruce hums a permissive note, gaze hawkish as you step into his personal space.
“Right. So, as you already know, you want to put cologne at the pulse points on either side of your neck; your body heat will help the alcohol carrier agent evaporate faster. If you're using a lighter fragrance or a perfume oil, you'd put it behind your ears." You explain.
As you speak, you pluck the bottle of fragrance from his grasp with your unoccupied hand, and spritz his neck with it, swapping hands to hold his collar away and do the same the other side of his neck.
Finally, you spray the base of his neck; the mist of cologne gathers into a single small droplet that traces down into the hollow of his suprasternal notch.
“(All done.” You announce, stepping back.
Bruce buttons up his collar, works the silk of his tie back into a Windsor knot with infuriating ease.
“I still think it would have been less fuss to just spray it on over the fabric.”
“Lazy. Just be thankful you don't have to do your ankles." You say as you turn to put the bottle back on the dark oak of his dresser.
Heinously late, cognition kicks in, and the realisation of what you’ve just said strikes you like a thunderbolt. You close your eyes briefly, hoping against hope that Bruce’s more airheaded tendencies have kicked in, and the context has flown over his head.
When you finally steel yourself enough to turn back to face him, you find that the universe has not been so merciful; Bruce is staring at you, a wicked glee in his expression.
"Anyway! That’s specifically to perfume." You obfuscate. "The car is probably out front by now; if you're done, let's head out."
“No, no; you’re going to explain that delightful little tidbit before we go anywhere.”
Heat floods your face.
“You clearly know exactly what I meant. Let it go, it was a faux pas.”
Bruce says your name in a low rumble.
You parrot his name back at him in a faintly beseeching tone, begging him not to choose this moment to be a petty tyrant.
Bruce’s response is to raise an expectant eyebrow.
The standoff lasts as long as it takes you to check your watch, your resolve fracturing at the first hint of threat to your meticulously crafted schedule.
“Fine!” You snap, stepping close and dropping your voice to a murmur, to minimise the odds of anyone overhearing the frankly mortifying disclosure.
“You spray perfume on your ankles so that when you've got them over your partner's shoulders, they'll associate the perfume with you."
A faint flush floods the high planes of Bruce’s cheekbones, even as his smile turns gloating and distinctly carnivorous.
C Caught up in your own humiliation, you push past him, out of the dressing room, and quite miss the way his eyes trail down your legs to where the jut of your ankle bone is emphasised by your heels, and the considering smirk that his mouth pulls into as he follows you.
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rinisdrawing · 1 year ago
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cozy summer afternoons
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doweesig · 11 months ago
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Been wanting to draw this since the reveal of the SMB Movie casting lol
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nouverx · 9 months ago
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The thing I love the most about Alastor is that we can't truly know what to think of him, if he is being truly manipulative or if there's a genuine undertone behind any of his words, and that allows people to interpret him differently from one person to another. Like "oh he's being so sweet and supportive", to "no actually he's just saying what people want to hear because he's an evil manipulator". Maybe some fans are being too trustful, just like Charlie, and falling into his lies. BUT maybe there's a true genuine undertone to everything he says, maybe he can be a sweetie behind his evil mask. And maybe he'll turn out redeemable. Or not at all. Who knows?
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His character could go in two completely different directions in the next seasons and we have no way of telling how he'll turn out. It's still fully open because he showed he can be awful and evil and manipulative, but since there's been very few hints here and there that he could get attached to the hotel, that means he could be sweet despite all that. The mystery and uncertainty is keeping us thinking and hoping and I LOVE that. He's such a unique and amazingly written character.
On a personal note, I think the two different directions his character could take should coexist. Yes, he's going to be a main villain in the future seasons and betray Charlie and the hotel, yes he's an evil manipulator, BUT he could also get attached to them and show redeemable qualities at the same time. For me it would make the heartbreak even greater and his character even more satisfying.
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caelanglang · 1 year ago
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chuuya will go insane seeing dazai cry? zamn would pay to see that lmaoo
hi, i kinda went insane thinking and drawing about this one.
a continuation of the drunk fem!dazai post !
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mini bonus:
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update: now with extra here ~
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icewindandboringhorror · 27 days ago
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#tumblr polls#polls#Sorry if the wording is weird. I thought ''be considered X where I live'' would make the most sense since 'tallness' or etc. is sort of#subjective to the people around you or your specific culture/area/etc. And if I just said ''I'm tall'' or ''I'm short'' then#the response might be 'well how do I define whether I'm tall or not?'' or etc. But then most people could probably look#at the people around them in daily life they interact with and compare based on that to get a more literal idea or something#..ANYWAY.. lol.. as usual just thought of some random thing and was like.. hrmm... i wonder what the most common#feeling about that would be.#personally I'm not even short but I just want to be really really tall... like... 7 feet tall or something. In a fantasy world type of way#of course. so like a super tall elf creature. More realistically I suppose you get health problems past a certain point#so maybe I'd be happy with 6'2“ or so.#Absolutely no hate towards people with this preference but I've always had trouble understanding the idea of wanting to be shorter#so you're Small And Cute or this and that. or whatever the base reason is. I suppose I would understand it from a surivval prespective#maybe you want to be able to hide in your environment easier and blend into a crowd. I personally would like people to be inspired to run#away from me when they see me though gjhbj#In an average grocery store or something just a normal day but then some 8 foot tall wizard man walks in and so everyone#kind of backs away slowly = yaaay I get the aisle all to myself and can shop for my produce in peace.#(except for the fact that there's a subsection of people who would intepret it as spectacle and would run towards instead of away#and pull out their dumbass phones to film Weird Thing Happening. in which case. spell of 'phone melts into molten plastic in your hands#stop filming strangers in public without their consent' be cast upon ye. )
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nothingbizzare · 9 months ago
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Stars and sparkles
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codenamethebird · 6 months ago
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Ok here's a little (not really) analysis/theory post about Hades 2, because I'm obsessed. Its consumed all my thoughts. And I need to talk about a theme I think will (hopefully) be addressed as the game progresses.
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Here's some examples of dialogue that starts to touch on this conflict between mortals and the gods. What exactly do mortals deserve? We also have literal Icarus "flew too close to the sun" here too (and probably Pandora). Chronos was able to sway many to his side with a promise of a golden age without the gods, which is presented by the narrative as a foolish venture. And not saying it isn't, or that Chronos is the secret good guy here, but I believe Chronos is taking advantage of a very real hurt that exists for mortals.
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This line from Nemesis really stood out to me, because it implies that while mortals have a concept of evil, the gods don't. Which sounds ridiculous but the more you think about it makes total sense. The gods in Hades (and just greek myth in general), are kind of the worst. They are petty and selfish, they literally attack you if their boon isn't picked first, and most vitally in this context, often utterly disregard mortals.
For example, one of the things that drove me a little crazy in Hades 1, was how chill everyone was with Demeter's never ending winter. Demeter was killing possibly millions upon millions of mortals and everyone else just sort of let it happen. Maybe complained a bit because it was annoying to them, but just stood by. And that's just one example. Mortal's have a very valid reason to hate the gods.
And considering we have more areas of the surface to explore that aren't out yet, I have a feeling Melinoë is going to be meeting some of these discontent mortals. And my hope is they are going to be nuanced characters, that will challenge Melinoë not just in a fight, but her very ideals.
Because Melinoë is very deferential to the gods, waaaaaay more that Zag ever was. Unlike Zag, who was more like a bro to them and was willing to suck up to them for personal gain, Melinoë seems to genuinely mean all the respect she gives them. She praises them, defends them when they are insulted, and just generally very polite to them.
In a smaller scale, she describes Hypnos as having a wisdom about him and can somehow sense her intensions while asleep. Which as Nem implies, the version in Melinoë's head doesn't exactly line up with reality (though sidebar, I am a believer in Chekov's Hypnos and that he's going to somehow save the day and put Chronos in a never ending sleep or something, but that's beside the point haha).
Melinoë's reverence to the gods makes total sense of course. She was denied her family and a happy childhood, and because of that has glorified them all in her head. The Olympians are sending her vital aid on her holy mission for vengeance and to save her family, even as their own home is being attacked, how honorable of them!
And I think part of Melinoë's arc is that perfect picture of them breaking into pieces. Yes, they are the better of the two options between them and Chronos, but that doesn't mean they aren't also kind of the worst. That mortals deserve better than frivolous gods that can decide on a whim their fates for better or worse (love u Moros but I'm still fucked up over you and your sisters giving mortals horrible doom endings when you were bored. At least he feels bad now but still. Perfect example of gods even when not intending to having horrific consequences for mortals). And maybe like how Zag healed relations with his family, Melinoë can start repairing relations between the Gods and Mortals.
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kandigored · 5 months ago
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the mirror pool
so ive been thinking about this au ive wanted to make inspired by the incredible pogd au by @beluvbug for a while !!
this is a very self indulgent au based on pinkie dealing with the conflict of wanting to be taken seriously while also playing themselves down constantly as a way to please others, especially when it come to their identity as nonbinary and their disabilities
i was going to make the first post about this au a little comic but ironically the disabilities have made that a bit hard and i wanted to post something for it
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octo-blobs · 27 days ago
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ugh,hhmmmm hello this is @jestersurgery 's fnh oc arlekin. The goat
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ggzmbz · 9 days ago
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she mor on my ro till I
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raplinenthusiasts · 2 years ago
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I wanna run my fingers through their hair
💜 @namjoonswildflower
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mustasekittens · 27 days ago
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awoo!🐺🌕
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drawn in storyboard pro (over a parksborn animatic) with the #normal support of @izzyzzart and @gayrevolutionary 🐺🐺
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somnimagus · 1 year ago
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did some vesperia chibis, i always forget how happy i get drawing these guys. i love them dearly
[id in alt text]
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adhdo5 · 2 months ago
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Lan Xichen is not a himbo he's just a better person than you are
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cozylittleartblog · 9 months ago
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new button sets
feddy || bemdy
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